I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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