His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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