i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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