Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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