i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
