Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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