He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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