apparently the secret to your success is patron
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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