he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
