he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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