when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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