fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Houston, we have a blender
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
