He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
