I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
