I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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