haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
