Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
