On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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