Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
