I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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