She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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