i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize