If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have fence marks all over my body
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
