Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
