Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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