I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
