I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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