We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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