Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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