totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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