im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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