if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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