Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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