It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
