the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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