You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
