jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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