Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
