i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
