You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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