i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize