the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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