Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize