When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
