I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
