I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
