Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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