So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
