Where did you get a picture of my penis
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
