Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
