I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
is it fun? or sober?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
