turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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