I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
