Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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