Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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