So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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