apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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