he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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