Non-Jews are for practice
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
